Pain, writer’s block, and drafts.

There hasn’t been much original content up here lately, and because this is a Tumblr and not strictly a blog, I’m okay with my stream being reblogs, links, or photos. It’s not that I haven’t had much to say; in fact I have several posts started that I would love to share and get feedback on. They just haven’t felt right, and forget about them having a good conclusion…nearly impossible. 

Through my recent explorations into writing I’ve realized that this is what writer’s block looks like in me…at least as I have experienced it thus far. I have a nugget of an idea that I want to flesh out and develop, but if that idea is not what my mind is focused on at that moment my sentences become short and there isn’t good flow. It reads like my brain is hopping around trying to make a cohesive paragraph but is failing miserably. That is until I let my brain dwell on the most prominent thing in my stream of conscious. I have a habit of avoiding the prominent thought for various and occasional reasons. 

Lately, it’s been because of pain. I hate complaining, and worse than that, it makes me frustrated to let people see a weak side of me. These last few months have been crazy for me and the dominating idea in my head has been pain: how to deal with it, how severe it is or is not, and how much to share with people. I think this is why I haven’t had much content, because I wouldn’t let myself write publicily about what was consuming me. 

I have just returned home from the hospital from surgery, the Death to Igor surgery, and it went fairly well. Hopefully now I can relay my thoughts on pain without them being too personal, but also I can finally share with those who read this things that are waiting to be finished, like how I realized I’m a misogynist, the beautiful shadow of doubt, and my fictional view of the Bible. 

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